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phone and innernet disconnected on 28th - cower in fear, o ye innernet addicts
please speak or enter your 10 digit phone number beginning with area code
you entered blah blah is that correct
please state briefly what you need help with
i'm sorry, please choose from these options. if you would like to key in your answer press 9
for a, press 1 for b, press 2 for c, press 3 for d, press 4 or for more options press 5
for e, press 1 for f, press 2 for g, press 3 for disconnecting your service and not giving us money any more, press 4
your breathing may be monitored for customer service satisfaction guarantee assurance
hi i'm a human from the wrong department can you please give me the phone number you just gave the machine, and the name.
can i please have permission to access our account for you because we were fuckwads a few years back and did too many unauthorized things with customer's accounts so now we can't even look at our own fricken accounts for you without explicit permission. thank you.
i'm showing a balance of blah blah would you like to make a payment?
[uh, no i want to disconnect service, as per button 5 followed by 4]
please hold while i connect you to the correct department
[repeat above, in variations, to disconnect long distance, then again to disconnect dsl, all while assuring them that despite being a customer since 2001 there's nothing they can do to keep me as a customer, and yes i'm sure, and yes please disconnect.]
since you've been a customer for so long you do not need to return the equipment, it's yours.
*has useless dsl modem and dsl line filters*
now if i can convince the comcast fuckwads to connect cable without me being there, i may be able to avoid a week of waiting after arrival for innernet service to be plugged back into our spinal columns
you entered blah blah is that correct
please state briefly what you need help with
i'm sorry, please choose from these options. if you would like to key in your answer press 9
for a, press 1 for b, press 2 for c, press 3 for d, press 4 or for more options press 5
for e, press 1 for f, press 2 for g, press 3 for disconnecting your service and not giving us money any more, press 4
your breathing may be monitored for customer service satisfaction guarantee assurance
hi i'm a human from the wrong department can you please give me the phone number you just gave the machine, and the name.
can i please have permission to access our account for you because we were fuckwads a few years back and did too many unauthorized things with customer's accounts so now we can't even look at our own fricken accounts for you without explicit permission. thank you.
i'm showing a balance of blah blah would you like to make a payment?
[uh, no i want to disconnect service, as per button 5 followed by 4]
please hold while i connect you to the correct department
[repeat above, in variations, to disconnect long distance, then again to disconnect dsl, all while assuring them that despite being a customer since 2001 there's nothing they can do to keep me as a customer, and yes i'm sure, and yes please disconnect.]
since you've been a customer for so long you do not need to return the equipment, it's yours.
*has useless dsl modem and dsl line filters*
now if i can convince the comcast fuckwads to connect cable without me being there, i may be able to avoid a week of waiting after arrival for innernet service to be plugged back into our spinal columns