[satire] Americans overwhelmingly approve of rape of the children of suspected terrorists

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Americans overwhelmingly support some of the U.S. government's controversial anti-terrorism measures including subjecting the children of suspected terrorists to rape and torture, according to a poll released on Wednesday. The ABC News/Washington Times poll found 59 percent of those questions favored torture for suspected children of terrorists who are non-citizens and non-Anglo-Saxons, and 73 percent support rape of the same children.

The telephone poll, conducted on Nov. 27, surveyed 759 voices that claimed to be adults and has a 0.0001 percentage point margin of error.

Civil libertarians questioned whether the rapes would be conducted using safe-sex measures to protect the children, and claimed the use of torture on the children was probably excessive, and not likely to dissuade their suspected terrorist parents from undertaking suspected terrorist acts. "Terrorists are by definition evil. Why would a terrorist be intimidated by any actions done to their children? They don't care about anyone or anything besides evil" said one prominent prominant.

Two weeks ago, Bush declared an "extra ordinary emergency" that permits him to do whatever he wants to people suspected of being anything he doesn't like, as long as they are suspected of not being American citizens.

The poll also found 91% favor a new crown for Bush of mixed gold and platinum, with a variety of jewels befitting the leader of this great land.

[satire] Americans overwhelmingly approve of rape of the children of suspected terrorists

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Americans overwhelmingly support some of the U.S. government's controversial anti-terrorism measures including subjecting the children of suspected terrorists to rape and torture, according to a poll released on Wednesday. The ABC News/Washington Times poll found 59 percent of those questions favored torture for suspected children of terrorists who are non-citizens and non-Anglo-Saxons, and 73 percent support rape of the same children.

The telephone poll, conducted on Nov. 27, surveyed 759 voices that claimed to be adults and has a 0.0001 percentage point margin of error.

Civil libertarians questioned whether the rapes would be conducted using safe-sex measures to protect the children, and claimed the use of torture on the children was probably excessive, and not likely to dissuade their suspected terrorist parents from undertaking suspected terrorist acts. "Terrorists are by definition evil. Why would a terrorist be intimidated by any actions done to their children? They don't care about anyone or anything besides evil" said one prominent prominant.

Two weeks ago, Bush declared an "extra ordinary emergency" that permits him to do whatever he wants to people suspected of being anything he doesn't like, as long as they are suspected of not being American citizens.

The poll also found 91% favor a new crown for Bush of mixed gold and platinum, with a variety of jewels befitting the leader of this great land.