What is the cube root of Avogadro's number?Take one Avocado root. Cube it. Apologize.
Makes approximately 84446891 atoms.
Why is my cat psychotic?Insufficient data. But i'll tell you anyway:
It longs to roam free in the fields of mice and women.
What? Got a problem with wimpy ass questions?? (no question)What Hog Ate This? Go on, tell a policemyn robbers ought be learning ethics. My wedding is the happiest way I may pay you after such supreme quantities earlierly stated. Think I ought now stop??
Explain the philosophical differences between the different branches of Buddhism (Tibetan, Nichiren, Zen, etc.) You asked ;)Short form:
Life sucks. But there's a de-sucker that sucks out the suckiness! [babble breaks out about how to go about the de-suckification, and just what the sucking and non-sucking is.]
Longer: First, a summary of all of them:
Life is shit. That ain't cool. Siddhartha Gautama unit decides to fix it. He thinks. A lightbulb appears. All is paradox. Well that explains everything. He changes his name to Buddha, and says,
ok, let's help out my homies, here's the plan Stan...
...either explicitly (philosophy), or implicitly (religion), or is it the other way around? Some people can't understand the philosophy, so they need the religion to teach via metaphor. Some people can't understand the religion, so they need the philosophy to teach via metaphor. These will be corrupted by people that don't understand, starting from the first moment anyone tries to understand, and you'll have to find the truth yourself. Haha! Lucky for you i'm pointing at it.
Now the differences:
There are two or more main areas of Buddhism that are still alive. There used to be more, but yonder hordes invaded India and killed. 'Theraveda' may be the only one that survived initially, and Western peeps are likely to see it as the original philosophy and the rest as being mere religious derivations.
Theraveda — The goal of the Buddhist teachings is nihilism. The only way to stop suffering is to obliterate yourself. Just killing yourself won't work, you'll be reborn to suffer some more. You poor pathetic thing. Ok, here's how to stop feeling any passion or desire and achieve perfect equanimity. Sounds kind of depressing, but really it's happy. Anyway, your goal is to become a buddha, or 'arhat', or 'arhant', which is a dude that will not be reborn. Well, good luck, it'll take you all more millenia than can be counted to achieve the enlightenment that i achieved. Buddha unit signing off, winking out, extinguishing like a candle in the wind. Don't cry for me Ancient India. Be good, kids.
This Buddha is a skinny boi, ascetic.
Mahayana — Really, that's all too depressing. Actually the Buddha wasn't snuffed out, he's still around helping the rest of us, as are lots of other enlightened beings. Theraflu is the lesser path, we're the greater path. The buddha unit was a good unit, so he wouldn't just up and leave us. Instead, enlightened beings become 'bodhisattva's, who
could stop being reborn, if they were selfish fucks, but who aren't that selfish. They choose to keep being reborn (tho maybe not in the physical realm) so they can help others get to happy land. Gotta make sure everyone's on the big blue nirvana/nibbana bus before departing. Let's listen to Nirvana while waiting for the peeps trying to get their little gray Theraveda busses running.
This version of Buddhism is erumpant from India and spreads toward the China direction. It's more palatable to people... why annihilate yourself when you can have fun and help your friends and family instead? Be good, kids.
When we woggle into China, we'll grow into a fat Buddha, since they think fatbois are the wisest.
Tibetan — Same as above, but dude like it's totally cosmic. No really.
Nichiren — The other stuff is a load of crap. Just sit down and chant 'Nam-myoho-renge-kyo', it'll get you where you need to go. Here, fill out this form...
Zen — Let's take a postmodern approach to the above. You can only learn the truth by finding it yourself, and analyzing it doesn't help because it's not logical, so quit thinking goddamit. Here, i'll spurt nonsense at you until it makes sense.
Tantra — Look, it's all the same. Rather than trying to be an ascetic, why don't you have lots of wet'n'wild sex and such, just be careful to observe it while you're doing it. Fun isn't it? Woohoo! Now notice how even tho it's really fun, at the kernel of it there's still some suckiness. Hmm, what to do about that?
etc — see the writings of Goog-El
Magick 1 — Them there buddhists tell you to not get distracted by the weird shit that happens when you meditate. But that weird shit is pretty cool shit! Or is it? I think i'll form a secret society to have a nice male hierarchy controlling access to the true knowledge. Let There Be Light and/or Conspiracy Theories. IF I JUST TRY HARD ENOUGH I CAN CONTROL THE UNIVERSE! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Magick 2 — Magick 1 is the lesser blue bus. You'll shoot yourself in the totalitarian foot. The Information Awareness Office will eat itself from within and collapse, so don't worry, be happy.
Freemasonry — Everything's symbolic. God wants us to participate in Creation, which is still going on in one sense, and we have to be good builder units. All faiths are welcome, except for atheists.
Christianity 1 — The Nirvana you seek is called Heaven. You can achieve it by having faith in God. There's a bit of a paradox... you're being punished for sinning, but you didn't know what sin was before you sinned so how could you sin? You're not able to understand this, so don't try, trust in God and he will bring you understanding.
Christianity 2 — Same as Christianity 1, but God is telling you that i'm in charge and speaking for him. Don't kill, unless i say it's ok because God hates the people you're killing.
Taoism / Daoism — Much like the above buddhism stuff. All is paradox and perfect balance, and you have to stop being out of balance in order to transcend it all and live forever by etc.
Jodaowi — stuff.
Why does my bf of 2 years have to move away tommorow due to financial reasons...?...rhetorical, I know.Attachment makes people do things, like move away due to financial reasons, since they are attached to having enough money to stay alive and suchlike. But they're also attached to other people. This means conflict, or suffering. So existence is suffering. Come on down to your nearest Buddhamart for a solution, which unfortunately might not help you much any time soon.
ok, straight to the point : when is the last time you had a decent fuck?As opposed to an indecent one? Hm. Lets say, depending on definitions of 'decent' and 'fuck', yesterday, or a couple weeks ago, or a couple months ago, or never.
Do you know why the caged bird sings?There's a couple reasons, really. One reason is to keep other caged birds from moving in on its caged territory.
If I were bread, would you be my butter?"I'll stop the world and melt with you / You see that sticky goo? That's me melting over you." and/or "Par
kay!..." and/or "Not if i wasn't."
Ohhhh... and what scares you most?I will fear no evil. So i guess i fear 'good'.
If you had to have sex with a male celebrity, who would it be?I know very few celebrities due to dysnomia and faceblindness. So lemmethink. Siddhartha, unless he was too hairy and dirty.
Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?Yes. And everyone has loved, so it's not really an option...
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ki. Enki eats
the forbidden plants from her sacred garden and gets sick. The
Goddess gathers eight nymphs to care for each of the diseased
organs, and Ninti was Goddess of the Rib the Lady of Life who
also fashioned babies bones out of their pregnent mothers' ribs
(Walker 728). The Yahwistic myth seems to have intentionally reversed
this much earlier one to 'turn the tables' on the female. There
are further precedents in the myth of Utnapishtim and the plant of rejuvenation.