(no subject)

Dad unit: We can't figure out PeoplePC. Reinstall AOL.

Me: Turns on computer.

Computer: Chokes. Wobbles. Spits. Invites me to misc porn and internet gambling. Tries to phone Germany, but Dad unit put long-distance block on it after a large phone bill so it fails to do anything but disconnect AOL.

Me: Tries to get AOL's spyware and antivirus running for an hour, then takes computer to my house.

Me: Runs AOL's McAfee VirusScan, AOL's anti-spyware, Spybot, Ad-Aware, msconfig, all the day long, repeatedly. 13 or so trojans and worms and 500+ spyware things removed. Service Pack 2 installed. Firewall turned on. AOL security items installed.

Computer: Seemingly ok for a bit, then adware resumes, advertising adware removal and registry cleaners.

Me: Runs Hijack-This, grumbles at uselessness of all software, runs Symantec online Security Scan and Virus Detection. Symantec seems to be finding things that McAfee doesn't find. (Just as Ad-Aware and Spybot and AOL's anti-spyware all find things the others don't find.)

Me to World: My credit card is waiting to enrich anyone that can make a single-scan malware remover that actually works and that knows if wtf99ck.exe is shipped by HP or Microsoft or is malware so I don't have to guess. I don't care if it is a worm or a virus or a trojan or a browser hijacker or a dialer or spyware - just remove everything bad that you wouldn't want on your computer, and do it with a single piece of software that I can set to run automatically to always keep a parent's computer clean without confusing the parent. kthx.

Mac users: missing out on all the excitement.

So what'd you do for your Thanksgiving?

(no subject)

Dad unit: We can't figure out PeoplePC. Reinstall AOL.

Me: Turns on computer.

Computer: Chokes. Wobbles. Spits. Invites me to misc porn and internet gambling. Tries to phone Germany, but Dad unit put long-distance block on it after a large phone bill so it fails to do anything but disconnect AOL.

Me: Tries to get AOL's spyware and antivirus running for an hour, then takes computer to my house.

Me: Runs AOL's McAfee VirusScan, AOL's anti-spyware, Spybot, Ad-Aware, msconfig, all the day long, repeatedly. 13 or so trojans and worms and 500+ spyware things removed. Service Pack 2 installed. Firewall turned on. AOL security items installed.

Computer: Seemingly ok for a bit, then adware resumes, advertising adware removal and registry cleaners.

Me: Runs Hijack-This, grumbles at uselessness of all software, runs Symantec online Security Scan and Virus Detection. Symantec seems to be finding things that McAfee doesn't find. (Just as Ad-Aware and Spybot and AOL's anti-spyware all find things the others don't find.)

Me to World: My credit card is waiting to enrich anyone that can make a single-scan malware remover that actually works and that knows if wtf99ck.exe is shipped by HP or Microsoft or is malware so I don't have to guess. I don't care if it is a worm or a virus or a trojan or a browser hijacker or a dialer or spyware - just remove everything bad that you wouldn't want on your computer, and do it with a single piece of software that I can set to run automatically to always keep a parent's computer clean without confusing the parent. kthx.

Mac users: missing out on all the excitement.

So what'd you do for your Thanksgiving?